Response to Lauren Sides's "New Coach"

The story seems to be about Kaylee, a girl who is obsessed with competitive cheerleading. Her squad’s coach is replaced by a new coach named Alex. This new coach pushes them to the extremes daily and finally forces Kaylee to injure herself during one of their many practices. During her recovery, she is forced to endure physical and emotional stress, both from the healing process and from her coach. She tears herself down for the cruel coach before finally realizing that he doesn’t give a damn about her or the team and only wants to win. It is at this point that she decides to leave the team rather than put herself through anymore turmoil. I think your story really shows that you can only push someone around for so long until they decide to finally snap back.
One thing I liked about the story was how well Alex was portrayed (as a bad guy…). He is said to be (as the story puts it) an ass hole before he is even introduced to the squad. He lives up to this reputation and more. He is shown to be extremely cruel and cares little about the girls’ well being, physically or mentally. This is best shown when he forces the main character to pretty much injure herself even though she told him that she couldn’t do what he was asking. This goes hand in hand with how the practices are portrayed. The work their coach puts them through is grueling and degrading.
A change I feel would benefit the story would be to maybe put it in first person perspective rather than third. Since the story seems to be all about Kaylee to begin with, it would give the reader a more in-depth look at her experiences. Also, a couple of sentences felt a bit awkward and there were a couple of tense issues.